All Blogs by shrimp

but i really am kind of obsessed with Kiss like she rly ragebaits in a way i haven’t seen in years

so unbelievably dogshit at the new comps like it really is humbling

i still fucked your dad in both the ass and mouth in that order

standard and safety chain arena isn’t necessarily the fact that i have to speak to people or have strategic thoughts. it’s honestly the fact that 90% of this website’s users are so mentally ill and believe they deserve your undying loyalty if you’ve ever spoken and will call you a plethora of slurs if you consider trying to play the game like a game so like. sometimes i just want a gamemode where i don’t have to risk getting doxxed for my callout in safety chain arena you know?

how do you play it someone help

im choosing peace i dont have the energy to associate with mouthbreathers before 8am

my favorite recurring blogs page trend is when itsamodernlife tries to whack @Bitch by being like “SEE LOOK HOW SHITTY THE DESIGNS ARE” whole time it’s just something Chibi made

yall were just letting people upload anything huh

can we end this embarrassing trend of people feeling like they’re entitled to win Royale because they’ve helped others win before first of all you’ve never done a single thing for me and second of all i didn’t really sign up to work at the kovaze koinz soup kitchen

begrudge anyone for wanting to be handed a Royale win bc listen... if i can ask for a win i'm gonna ask for a win but at the same time i really have no desire to ever do a diplomatic ending to a Royale. like ur gonna tell me i just spent the past x amount of hours focused on this game AND talking to people i don't particularly like just for Wheel of Names dot com to decide whether i win? i'd rather do a naked handstand against the wall and have rubbing alcohol poured into my asshole

the blogs page hates someone more than you i would probably just go outside if that's something you're capable of doing

and RUSHING to the blogs page to try to stir up drama then immediately playing the victim when that person responds Nenalala you need a type of therapy i don't think they've invented yet

i'm not sure why the crimson chin felt the need to fire a stray at me even though 90% of the site made him the butt of every joke for two full months, but luckily he's not witty in any way so i think i will be okay

i was JUST thinking how much i want to accidentally stumble across two elderly men having raw anal sex today

that can happen to me is receiving a shady blog comment from someone who doesn't have any major flaws like what am i supposed to say when AngieKStan is mean to me in the comments section? like i can't call the bitch fat ugly unfunny or jobless so what do i do?

ok honestly i find these blogs kind of corny and i also never thought i'd win a Royale so i kinda never thought about writing one but it feels like everyone does it. i know none of you will read this and i really don't give a fuck - i had fun with this game and want to document my experience in some way honestly i have a real love/hate relationship with the Royale format - i really was never gonna (and still would never) stay up for an entire night in the old slower paced Royale, so i kind of just thought it was the unemployment Olympics. and ALSO i feel like you're kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't in Royale - if you don't randomly jump your friends you get yelled at for not doing anything and if you DO randomly jump your friends they'll probably tell you to kill yourself. so all of that to say, i click that Join Raffle button every time and use it as an excuse to reconnect with old friends or make new friends but honestly everything domino just kind of fell correctly in this last game? after being tragically and brutally beheaded by Airi in the game prior i kind of just didn't give a fuck, but i was added to my only real alliance of the game by Jaded p much immediately with Akshar Chase Chris Fire Connor Glaceon Malibu Melodrama so i knew i could coast for at least a bit. i kept forgetting i was in the game tbh because my Discord wasn't giving me mobile notifications so i'd miss alliance chat messages entirely but i honestly kind of coasted a bit with this group. i figured i'd probably go to the movies (i saw The Drama btw it was good) and be dead when i was done but i somehow managed to survive and then it was like top 18? a few of the inactives / less connected players got weeded out and i sat quietly and built up a lil inventory until Chase went feral and started murdering anyone in his path at top 13. this was tragic bc i lost Glaceon who was one of the only people talking to me outside of the chat so i just assumed it was over. i very pathetically begged him to spare me and he asked if i'd kill either Ricardogv or dailyicon - and i knew where Ricardo was so i kind of burned through a lot of items killing him in an attempt to prove loyalty to Chase and hopefully buy a bit more time. at this point i was completely out of stamina and the game turned into everyone (except Rain, kinda?) against Chase. i sat in the eye and started shitposting and hoping that i'd just grab a few more items. in the meantime Chase kept trying and sorta failing to jump Jaded which was ideal bc i needed him to waste some of his huge item stash. eventually i ended up in the eye with Connor again, and after Chase bombed us twice Connor kinda disappeared to go jump him. once he finally found Chase we tried desperately to kill him but the bitch had like 9 million health packs so i kinda just wasted every bomb and sniper i had. i was legitimately falling asleep like phone in hand bc i had no stamina and basically no long-range weapons so i figured i was fucked. opened my eyes one more time and a fucking energy drink popped up in my zone. clicked it, moved to the eye, claimed maybe 30 unclaimed pop-ups. at this point the 3 of us agreed to just fight it out, so dailyicon came to the eye and i swiftly whacked him and inherited the insane amount of items he was hoarding. at this point i knew i had more health packs than Connor and i had like 8 bombs so i figured i had it in the bag. i tried to ask Connor which zone he was in and he seemed defeated but tbh i got scared he was gonna pretend he was giving up and tell me a fake zone so i'd waste my bombs LMAO but eventually he told me and i just bombed and voila... all of this to say - i really feel like the Royale format is kind of dynamic. you don't have to go on a killing spree before top 20 because ultimately all that does is put a huge target on your back early. i think it is very possible - and almost ideal - to just play social and strike when the time is right. i will probably continue to click Join Raffle for every Royale bc now i feel like i've accomplished what i wanted to in the game, and i do genuinely have fun every time. but this win was maybe 95% luck and idc!

torture