All Blogs by shrimp

in the right generation i love to craft really absurd analogies to make gay people LARPing as parvati shallow laugh

ur kind of doing simone biles triple back handsprings on my johnson this past 24 hours and its getting sore thank you all though i’ll continue to protect and serve against men who need a treasure map to locate the clitoris

i love and appreciate all the women on the site and i do not blame you for placating the creepy straight men on this website i just think its shocking the way they choose to behave honestly i feel like even having a girl avatar ive had men be weirdos in PMs during games like brother ur going to be wildly disappointed when i unzip these Levi’s and flop my nuts out

the frightening creepy straight men on this site all have friends lists that are like every woman on the site just something to think about you know

i was against it when i first joined but it's time for ELO ranked Race i think technically even though a lot of the minigames are dumb as hell, they're technically more *skill-based* than Hysteria. also low ELO lobbies would let newer players get practice and the sweats can fill out the high ELO lobbies and not get mad at newbies. i'd say Arena but i feel like with the different formats it kind of just turns into helping ur friends

Guitar is the worst challenge on this website like what do you mean two notes are a centimeter apart but because I didn't press twice I missed one, then the next two notes are the exact same and I pressed twice and lost my streak

put you in tiers based on how much i enjoyed being your partner in Race don't comment if we have never been partners i'll ignore u

Sin's intellectual property so I stole Matt's - https://kovaze.com/designs/8140

freshly washed sheets on the bed, video of a couple of my favorite kinky studs playing in my airpods maybe this life thing isn’t so bad after all.

makes a new post that says 👤Player Mackey 📏 Length Permanent 📝 Reason Child

on the Nena of it all then i’ll shut up i keep seeing the narrative from Nena defenders switch from “it was a mistake he didn’t mean to do it” to “it’s not fair that he’s perm named for one incident” and honestly if Nena had never been banned or warned EVER and was like “hey (insert Kovaze user who is a man irl but has a parody username of a woman from youtube who got cancelled for being inappropriate with minors) kill yourself” and got permed, maybe i’d agree that it was unfair. but there are several steps in the moderation process that come BEFORE a perm ban - which it seems like he used and then some. and even BEYOND THAT it’s pretty explicitly laid out that if you post porn you’re getting permanently banned. it’s truly not rocket science i don’t even give a fuck about Nena honestly and i’m fine with all the people defending him as human beings, but i swear yall wanna cry about how moderation doesn’t do their jobs until they do their jobs against someone you like

just searched the bans channel in the Kovaze server and the bitch had 3 penalties, 2 warnings, and 4 bans - all for things less heinous than posting a link to a bareback orgy between senior citizens. so what now.

accidentally post porn, that means he had one hand on Starfall and the other cranking his hog, which should be a perm ban-worthy offense anyway

this is a fucking insane blog https://kovaze.com/blog/71428 trying to say “it was a mistake” that Nena went to a porn site, opened a video, copied the link, went back the Race game we were partnered in, pasted the link, and hit send? i promise the bitch isn’t technologically incompetent he’d played 20% of the games on the site, and he certainly wasn’t accidentally messaging in our DMs in the game when he’d compete and not pick a transport i truly have no beef with Nena or anyone but this wasn’t a mistake, just like calling Dakota fat and telling him to kill himself wasn’t a mistake. at a certain point you just gotta take the L and hang out with Nena on Dress to Impress or something

would’ve been more fun for me in a different lobby I fear but tbh if comp beasts had to think more about who they’d be facing in the finale lobby I think the gameplay in Arena would be more legitimate than just “i’m saving the one i know best” either way it’s something different which i enjoyed

making the site 18 when the people who consistently make asses out of themselves are over 18 just kind of doesn’t really change anything like i’ve never seen mackey do anything heinous or offensive and that bitch can’t even drive

this is how I imagine Cherry and RobbieRIOT when they win Bingo for the 4389248932th time https://kovaze.com/designs/8134

for the elderly https://kovaze.com/designs/8131