Tea from this wedding I was at this weekend.
I found out I had a secret uncle. Not only that, this isnt the first secret child my grandfather has had, it is the second, with a completely different woman. The first we found out he paid off to leave him alone, this one I am assuming he never knew was his and if he did know he sure as hell was silent about it.
This uncle was at my cousins wedding, I was sitting directly across from him at the front of the room near my Cousins table. I said
"Hi I don't think we met and this is entirely family otherwise? Are you related??" My aunt looks at me and goes 'he is a family friend, do you not remember him?' as if I have seen this man at every family gathering my whole fucking life. I am not close with my family and she knew that. THIS is the definition of gaslighting btw Padampadam I did not say you were gaslighting however you DID tell lies while your bff preached about how lying was dumb as fuck and you went on and on for like 10 minutes about how you were an honest person.
I digress.
This woman sat there and told me he was a family friend. her child came over about 10 minutes later and I had gotten a double vodka soda from the open bar at this point. I said 'Jamie girl, who the fuck are these two and why are they at the family table.'
I saw a gleam in her eyes. I knew I was about to get tea crazy style. She pulled me away from the table and ushered my sister with her. There we sat in a different room from the entire rest of the wedding while she told us that grandpa and the neighbor woman had an affair and she had his baby.
This uncle quickly realized the jig was up and he and his wife contronted ME later and were like 'We have looked you up online and we are from the same area as you, please do not tell anybody yet. His mother is 84 and she doesn't know he knows. We don't even know if she knows that his father isn't really his father.' So now Im like, why would I tell anybody????
This is where I found out one of my closest girlfriends is my fucking cousin through marriage now. I told her.
Anyways.