Sometimes I think that if I'd had a happier childhood, I would have been a better person. My mother was extremely overprotective, and my father was a violent, religious fanatic who often threatened to hit me or abandon me. While religion is a good thing, they both changed for the better, but my mental state was damaged. To what extent was I responsible, and to what extent was I a perpetrator, when I returned the yelling or violence to people who hadn't done anything to me? I never hit anyone, but I was violent here, here, and everywhere. It felt good to be in control, not to be the scared child of my childhood. Now, the ones who were afraid were others. However, I'm in treatment, and I assure you that the path of goodness and respect for others bring more pleasure than any feeling of power or control. I also had benefits: my finances are quite good within my country, and I made good friends. I think it wasn't all so bad; now I see it that way.

My father used to yell at me a lot; he was very violent. He even threatened to abandon or hit me, although he never actually did it. As a result, my cortisol levels were through the roof, and I was in a state of hyper-alertness, anxiety, and even paranoia."

@carmencita