Everything will work out for me (sad boy rant)

like it always does. but sometimes i want more than just it "working out". i want to grow and achieve new things. I want to actually have something to brag and gloat about when my friends ask me what's new. I want a way out of my living situation and my small town. I want to be financially good, literally just good. Go to university/college people, because this new age economy is not friendly to those that don't. You can't just network/freelance your way up. Every avenue is incredibly saturated now. The job market is full of random fake jobs and "data analysts" and jobs like that. Rent is now 1400 for a one bedroom or MORE. I'm 27 living with roommates 4 years younger than me. And if these jobs that I applied too don't call me back in 2 weeks I have to move back home with my parents and work at my shitty job... again, in my small rural town. And before you say "try going back to college, try applying to XYZ" I have. I literally have tried all different sorts of things. Living in "the city" allowed me to be gay and loud for the first time in my 27 years of living and the idea of it maybe coming to an end in 2ish weeks is really setting in. The community I finally found is wonderful. I put on nail polish for the first time in my life last month and it doesn't sound that big of a deal and I sound cringey for even saying this but like I felt so good, I can't do that type of stuff back home. I just can't go back I seriously might not be able to live with myself. Working a shitty job 6 days a week under my parents roof just so it feels like I'm doing something. The job i applied to isn't even good either but at least it will allow me to live in "the city" and escape my small town which is literally just step 1. Kovaze is such a good escape from real life and i love y'all and remember the people you speak too over a monitor are real people <3333