Fuck this!!! (Rant: ignore)

anyone who knows what ACA stands for im sorry Being an adult child of an addict fucking sucks The amount of tests I’ve been put under during my family reunion trip is ridiculous But tonight is the hardest, since I decided I deserved a few drinks on vacation (my mom is sober from alcohol but very much a user of substances) Anyways I won’t ramble on but I’ve spent at least 2 hours crying because of how she treated me and humiliated me. We have been in competition since I was around 4 years old. And I don’t know why. She makes fun of me or makes me out to be a nasty freak in front of others. This is especially true for people who don’t know her past. So tonight when I slipped into the lake to get a hook o it of a fish’s mouth she shouted that I was a stupid drunk and everyone made fun of me. I’ve been crying for hours and felt so humiliated. I know deep down my mother hates and resents me because I look like her. I’ve known this for a long time. Everyone sees her as an angel, and a lot of the time she is. But I have met the most evil side of her that no one else has and I feel it makes people not take me seriously. She’s done asome unspeakable things to me, yet I attribute it all to her addiction. Now that she is sober I can no longer attribute her resentment to her addiction— but moreso to her own regrets. But if anything I just want people on here to know that they’re not alone and many families are dysfunctional and wrong and you’re not weak for having feelings about it. And you still deserve to grow up as your own person and make your own mistakes without harboring the wrongs of your elders. And fuck this! And my dms are always open even if im not online. And also I do have some resources for anyone else who is an ACA (adult child of an alcoholic/addict) or addicts seeking recovery that’s low maintenance/ attendance at optional. I attend these online chat meetings frequently and know of many more. Addiction does not stop at the user. It ruins lives in the sneakiest of ways. Btw these gifs are within moments of each other so u can do ur silly lil breathing exercises and feel better as cringe as it is