So...going through a lot of misery (which is the norm for my life). I've been trying to starve myself because I hate how ugly I am in real life, and while that's been going on...lots of miserable stuff going on around me that I'll keep private. Let's just say...it involves lots of sobbing, lots of 'wanting to just give up' and 'unable to keep going on', lots of asking God why, and...more. It's beyond stressful. I know everyone has their own stuff they deal with, but...until you walk a mile in my shoes, you have NO idea what true stress and misery really is. But, I say all that...to now say something funny and hopefully get a laugh out of some people (if not myself). So, certain enemies I have on this site (such as Melodrama) have a very odd insult that they love to say about me: I'm AI. No, seriously. I've seen several weirdos on here call me AI, or claim that I 'use ChatGPT to write everything that I do on here'. It's one of the dumbest, most bizarre, most hilarious things I've ever seen. I'm guessing it's because...I'm, like, one of the few people that writes a lot? And apparently you're only 'supposed' to write short sentences, with no punctuation, bad grammar, and poor spelling, and saying anything with 'big paragraphs' means you're clearly AI or using ChatGPT or you're just a loser for 'taking things too seriously'. Who would've thought that just...writing...is seen as so threatening to many clowns? I've had this happen to me on Discord, too, when I used to be a part of certain other groups. Because I like to actually give more in-depth thoughts and details when I say something, and I use proper punctuation and grammar, it 'scares' people. I legit have had people tell me that they're 'scared' of me because of how well I type and how much I DO type. People are scared of intelligence. That's the day and age we live in, folks! The fact I'm writing a blog with 3 paragraphs makes ME the loser, while someone who writes a blog post with three or four lowercase words and a bunch of dumb emojis is the 'cool' one. Seriously, with all the pain I'm going through, this just makes me laugh my head off. For the record, I'm not a stupid AI, and I don't use ChatGPT for ANYTHING; everything I write or choose to say is from my own mind and heart. If you don't believe me...well, you're an idiot, and you probably need to stop caring about what a single, worthless human being like me has to say. Also, I would actually have to TRY to type like a lot of people on the internet. It legit is harder for me to write illiterately than it is otherwise. Plus...I'm a writer. I've actually attempted to get books published in the past (didn't succeed, but I at least tried). I've written books with 300 pages, single-spaced. This is just the type of person I am. So by all means keep hating me because I just like to talk/write, but all you're doing is embarrassing yourselves when you try to insult me. And, really, it's a compliment in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, for those of you who bothered to read this...whether a friend or a foe...I hope you're having a good day. And I hope to God you're not going through anywhere close to the level of misery and pain I am. Take care of yourselves.

Melodrama Mochalatte While I have issues with quite a few people on this site, these two just need to be called out. Good lord are they insufferable pieces of shit. First, let's do Melodrama. This prick, when I first came onto the site, used me as a number in my first game and promptly backstabbed me. So in my next game when they tried to use me AGAIN and I refused to side with them, they got very offended and took it personally. From that point onward, they pretty much made it their mission to always belittle me, mock me, and make it their sole mission to see me suffer and/or make me lose any game that I happen to frequent with them. They do that obnoxious copy/paste bullshit of copying things I say and pasting it for themselves...which I still don't get what the point is. It's beyond juvenile. Also, when I made the final 2 in Race with this douche as my partner, he intentionally threw, saying "I don't want my 100th win to be with Tailslover13", just going to show how petty of a loser he is. He always belittles and mocks his partners in Race if they aren't up to his standards, he acts like a typical bully you'd see in school, and he's just a scumbag. And then there's Mochalatte. This dumb bitch, out of NOWHERE, threatens me in a game. All I did was make a comment listing off the people currently in the game that I knew. So what does this person say? They tell me to go kill myself in a burning fire, and also dished out a personal insult, too. I understand trash talk and insulting people and getting into fights; that's just human nature (as ugly as it can get). But...this crossed a line. You don't tell someone to go kill themselves in such a detailed, gruesome way...and also personally attack them in the process. Sorry, but that's not okay, so yes I reported them for that. And Sin (or whoever handles the reporting) agreed with them and they got banned for a day. That seemed fair; I wouldn't ban them FULLY, but shit like that isn't cool. And while some people got angry and said "They were obviously joking", I call bullshit. If you're someone okay with joking about shit like that...enjoy. I'm not one of those people. And you can't just expect/demand everybody to just be in your little clique or hivemind or whatever. You can't treat every single person the exact same way and expect them to just 'be okay with it because everyone else is'. We're all the fucking same. We're all individuals. Treat others the way YOU want to be treated. You should've learned this even BEFORE kindergarten! So, anyway, ever since this idiot got unbanned, they just attack me directly in games where I wind up with them. Pathetic. And let it be known I never start any shit with anybody. I try my best to not engage with people whom I know I don't like and won't get along with, but funny enough these two (and several more) have no issues with taking shots at ME and just trying to instigate shit. It's ridiculous. This is a GAME. SITE. It's literally JUST FOR FUN! People can feel how they want to feel about the games and how much effort they put in, because they're just having fun...and they shouldn't have to be treated like muck on the bottom of your shoes if they aren't up to your standards and/or aren't just a zombie that says/acts the same way you do. I can't stand going into games, trying to just have fun and not cause any drama, yet certain people have no issues picking fights with me and then accusing ME of being the problem. Isn't that typical? The one who retaliates is the one who is the 'problem', not the instigators. More shit we all likely should've 'learned' in school (sadly). To those of you out there who are good people, like AntonB, Otter_2401, Nora, GuiltyAsSin, NaughtyNacho, Sobriquet, Nebula, broncosrule1999, thank you all for making my life not suck so much on here! Thank you for not being a part of the toxicity that exists!

Honestly, I take it as a compliment. I made it to my first final 2 in a Race (since I had no clue they changed it from a final 3), and my partner hates me SO much that they intentionally did not lock in a score in the final challenge when we likely were going to win. So, honestly? Good. The fact they hate me SO strongly means I live rent free in their head and they care more about spiting me than they do winning. It's so hilariously pathetic and juvenile that I can't help but laugh and be honored to be so irrationally hated. Hatred just fuels me. I might rage quit for a while so I don't do something harmful to myself in real life, but I never actually stay down. Haters will never get the better of me. So, for all of you out there who might be hated and get a lot of flack or get bullied a lot, just let it fuel you to keep doing what you're doing. You're doing something right if people just want to hate you and see you be knocked down. As some very 'wise' people once said: "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down!"

Only been here two weeks, but I'm out. Sorry to those who actually care, but I can't take this. Going through the same shit I did with Tengaged, and it reminds me why I fucking quit that site, too. I just wear my heart on my sleeve too much. I open my heart and I try to be TOO nice. I'm no gamer. I don't have a strategic bone in my body. I can't do challenges; I'm not autistic, and I'm not that great at a keyboard or phone, so I can't do things like the rest of you can. I get hurt very, very easily. I'm also so gullible, so people take advantage of me fucking easily and stab me in the back with ease, and then mock me when I don't just automatically forgive them because "lol it's just a game, loser, git gud son and don't take it so seriously". Fucking pathetic. I just...I can't take it. I suck at all the challenges and can't win without someone REALLY good helping me, and I can't win anything on my own due to everything else I already said; even after making final 4 in Survivor, my three 'best friends' all just turn on me and stab me in the back and reveal they just used me as a number and didn't care about me at all. I hate it all. Maybe I should just fucking stop caring about reality shows and all this shit in general. All its brought me is pain and misery. Maybe it's not worth it anymore. But I sure as hell know what isn't worth it: this place. Curiosity killed the cat, though; I went to check up on what Tengaged was up to after 2 years, found this place instead, tried to give it another shot...nope, still the same bullshit. Not worth it. Bye.

I'm talking about Melodrama. I'm not gonna tag them, but my God they're such a toxic scumbag. In my very first game on the site, Melo stabs me in the back without any second thought. Then, when he tries to play innocent and act like my friend in my next game, I want nothing to do with him, and he promptly starts to act like an asshole ever since. He makes a blog to insult me and call me 'ChatGPT' for some bizarre reason. Then, in every game we're in, he either has to take personal shots at me (mostly how much I suck or how I just bring suffering to those around me). I try to ignore him, but he just always has to take shots at me, even though I never did anything to this creep. All I did was not want to work with him after my literal first impressions of him was him stabbing me in the back when I genuinely tried to be his ally. And he took that personally and now hates me and just wants to constantly act like an arrogant high school bully, just picking on someone they can't control and thus they must torture. What a prick. Seriously, to hell with this guy. There's some on here who I got a negative first impression of (such as Xakim), but then we kinda made up and now I even like them! But some people show their full ass and that's just who they are, without any surprises or changes of heart. A tiger can't change their stripes, after all. To everyone on here who ISN'T a giant douchebag, thank you. You're the real ones.

Congratulations to NaughtyNacho and Tailslover13, you have won The Race! Team 4 - NaughtyNacho & Tailslover13: 280000 Team 3 - Akshar & Connor: 250978 Team 9 - Frost & graciequeenn: 113 This time, the honor of being an amazing partner goes to NaughtyNacho. Seriously, a great dude! We even ended up getting the exact same score in the final leg: we each got exactly $100,000 in Deal Or No Deal. I thankfully had a Train left, while he had a Taxi. So maybe I ended up helping us win for once? Either way, first AntonB helps get me my first Race victory, and now NaughtyNacho does! I promise I won't make a blog for EVERY win I get...maybe. It's just when I get SO many losses in life, every victory I DO get means so much to me! So I have to give all the thanks to those who help me out along the way! Oh, and...two races before I accidentally got distracted when Moldy (AKA cheesecake) was my partner, causing us to go out in 10th. He raged at me, tearing into me on Discord and even reporting me (even though...things like this happen in EVERY game where people don't finish and/or get distracted). So, while I do feel a little bad about 'nuking' Moldy, this win makes up for it! Thank you again, NaughtyNacho.

Can anyone possibly give some honest tips about how to do some of the challenges? And by tips I don't just mean 'just practice a lot' or 'just do most of them on mobile because I think it's easier'. Those aren't tips. Like, actually, skilled ways of performing better in the challenges. For example, Starfall seems to be very easy; all you do is push the stars into the center of the screen as they fall down towards the box. That's it. So when I get almost every single star, by the end of it I get between 400-500, which I think is great! And yet so many others get 700 , which...makes no sense at all. HOW? It makes no sense to me! And then with Holey; how can you carefully move up past all the holes, over and over again, to get insane scores that don't even make sense? It's like people just pass over the holes and they aren't even there! Oh, and Words...some people actually get 90,000 points or more...when I go as fast as possible, I know my fair share of words, and the most I get is between 15000-20000. Just...just HOW? Please, any tips or insight would be very helpful.

Congratulations to AntonB and Tailslover13, you have won The Race! Team 2 - AntonB & Tailslover13: 228 Team 9 - Manon & NickGQc: 215 Team 6 - Envious & style: 201 I ACTUALLY FREAKING DID IT! I mean, let's face it, AntonB did most of the heavy-lifting, but...IT'S STILL A TEAM EFFORT, AND I FREAKING DID IT! My FIRST-EVER first place finish on Kovaze, in ANY game. Arena, Frenzy, Hysteria, Outcasted, Race, you name it...this was my first-ever FIRST. FREAKING. PLACE! I'm so goddamn happy! Everything had to go right...and it did! I had to have a Train for my last leg...which I did. I had to have a final comp I was actually good at, which I did (Codebreakers). I even beat one of my biggest rivals on the site in Envious which just made it all the juicer. I cannot express just how overjoyed I am. I'm not used to winning ANYTHING in life, even silly things like online games. So this just...feels so goddamn good. AntonB thank you SO much for how much you helped me out and kicked MAJOR ass! You helped me get my first-ever victory, and I will never forget this!

...and I got 2nd! I'm not even disappointed. I mean, I am that I couldn't deliver the win for my awesome partner, but holy crap I'm so proud! The first time I reached a finale in ANY of these games! God it felt so good and so motivating! Sadly didn't pull out the win, since I was going up against a freaking powerhouse in Dream but we only lost by a little, so I'm happy. style thank you so much for being such a badass partner and helping me out so much. Best partner ever!

So...I'm not very good at these challenges. But, I don't want to just waste time on Arena or Hysteria or whatever; I want to enjoy what I want to enjoy. That's my right. Plus, it's a free website, and it's meant to be FUN, right? But...it feels like some people on here are acting like they're Reddit mods: basically acting like what they're doing is super-serious business and they must be worshipped like they're one of God's disciples. When playing Race, most people are understanding and don't take it too seriously and they just have fun with it! But so far...two people have flat-out yelled at me for daring to make them lose and telling me to 'go play Arena/Frenzy' and 'stay out of Race'. Gotta love being dictated what you should and should not do, like they're my parents or have control over my life! Thank you, Envious and cheesecake for your kind words of trying to tell me how to actually play games! Here's my response:

So after a week on here, I wanted to highlight some great people who deserve a shoutout for making my experience not as shitty as it otherwise would've been. These are my personal MVPs for either being helpful, nice, patient, understanding, loyal, or otherwise goodhearted to me: benja31 Bowler23 BradT50 BronBreakker CarltonRS casayo cswaggerr Jaxx jessiejedi Katie21 Mario23 Nebula @owlsand Rebranding Robert991 Woofums Thank you to my Sweet 16! Hope I can continue to add names to this list going forward!

Goddammit, I am SO freaking pissed off. I finally, FINALLY avoid getting 10th place in Race...and thanks to Rebranding kicking ass, we even get a FIRST PLACE FINISH in the next leg! So what do I do to follow that up? GET 0 FREAKING POINTS IN THAT STUPID HOLEY GAME! It's flat-out impossible. I HATE using keyboard for stuff! So of course I got us eliminated thanks to my 0 points. I hate myself so goddamn much. Sorry, I just had to vent. I'm having a miserable day. My cat peed on my bed and I need to take her to the vet tomorrow...my new Amazon wrist rest came in and it's too damn small so I have to send it back...I'm not watching the Super Bowl this year since I hate every team left after the Texans lost...I keep worrying about my pets' health in general...I keep worrying about my mother and her two bad knees and how she keeps screaming in pain all the damn time...my own lower back hurts, along with own busted knee...constant failing on New-Tengaged...I'm having a very depressing Sunday and just feel like crying. And I don't want to keep it all to myself, so...I know this is the worst place to share, since all people do on here is laugh at you and copy/paste what you say in mocking ways or other stuff, but...I don't know, I just feel all alone all the damn time and...fuck. Sorry.

Team 10 - Luxray & Onyx: 715 Team 4 - itsamodernlife & MessyJ: 675 Team 2 - katheryn & shrimpfriedrice: 646 Team 9 - daze & GeminiFoxx: 631 Team 1 - Jaded & Maya10: 597 Team 6 - Jack & SummerMariah: 587 Team 3 - Connor & opulence: 565 Team 8 - Nexa & VenusVafa: 555 Team 7 - Cherry & seanaconda: 543 Team 5 - CarltonRS & Tailslover13: 183 I cannot apologize to Carlton enough. He seems like a powerful, talented person, and of course predictably I sucked. Yes, I get it: "We all had growing pains when we started off! You'll get better!" But, you don't know me. I've been a loser and failure my ENTIRE life. I don't 'get better'. I try, try, and try...and I just can't do it. I played violin for 8 years of school...and I still sucked after I graduated high school. Like, trying and trying to 'improve' just doesn't work for everybody. Not everybody is the same. So, yeah, this was extremely embarrassing, and I apologize to Carlton for having to have me as his partner. He deserved better.

Hurray! I just blocked my first 5 users: TrueBlood, Ricardogv, Melodrama, Jdaddy, and Xakim. If your best move is to hit someone when they're down, then you are not someone I want to have anything to do with. So far, this site hasn't been any different than Tengaged, but at least MOST people haven't seemed that bad yet. But when I got frustrated with just sucking at everything, all these guys did was mock, belittle, and bash me. Because yes, hurting someone when they're already upset is definitely what any normal person would do, instead of...you know...trying to encourage them or show a little empathy? Like, you're all already clearly better than me in every way...the least you can do is be understanding. But, nope, just mockery and belittling! Yep, the place is JUST like the old Tengaged. Heavily reminds me why I left the place several years ago and didn't go back...