in the past month. I almost started crying in the bathroom stall at the airport plz stab me someone

i DO think i just fell out of a coconut tree.

I’m at my apartment pool rn and this group of ppl who are probably like 2 years younger than me (I’m only 26 don’t age me) are being so loud and they’re like “OMG we did LIKE SOOOO much molly last night and EVERYONE THREW UP it was CRAZY but YOU THREW UP from the JUNGLE JUICE not the MOLLY” and there’s a mid thirties couple next to me who clearly heard them so I turn to them and go “yeah we all like TOTALLY THREW UP from all the MOLLY” and they laughed and gave me a free beer. You neckbeard losers could never play an irl social game like me honestly

Why all the tiktok AI content revolves around fruit people LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO like genuinely ………… every time I get something on my page that is AI fruit I’m like WHY when will vegetables get their turn !!!!!!!

is literally a form of torture for me . Like yes maybe I’m just miserable and single but i truly cannot stand it LMAOOOOO like if I got captured by jigsaw and find myself in the next saw movie it would be me surrounded by endless tiktok content of millennial and Gen Z brides talking about where they placed the flowers at their reception or how they chose bridesmaids’ dresses or “omg here are 10 things i would have done differently for my wedding as a 2025 bride” or “omg my photographer totally messed up my first look with the groomsmen photo im so disappointed” like LMAOOOOOOOOOOO shoot me shoot me shoot me shoot me just shoot me i can’t handle it . It has the same energy as posting on linkedin I can’t explain and will not elaborate just STFU PLEASE

is selfish LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and then u guys wanna act all high and mighty like PLEASE………… why are you risking your life for no reason and then demanding OTHER PEOPLE risk their life to SAVE YOU just because you wanna cosplay mother Theresa like I’m truly so so tired……………if yall don’t push that red button

well written character … sort of like Greg heffley idk what to think exactly.

and home get repossessed by the bank before I EVER had a cash bar at my wedding………………………LMAOOOOOO not that I’ll prob ever get married rip but truly……………I went to a wedding for my old coworker, took PTO, booked a round trip flight, booked a hotel, got my suit dry cleaned, gave them a $300 gift, drove four hours to be there and I pull up to the reception… $9 for a glass of chardonnay LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO like u truly cannot be serious……………I know most of u are like 16 and have never been to a wedding as a big kid but trust when I say that is in POOR TASTE this was like eight months ago and I still think about it

what????

and then I remember how hot, rich, funny and cool i am and then i feel better :)

my new job…………I D.A.R.E. to be DRUG FREE. Do you???!!!! JUST SAY NO in my Nancy Raegan era btw

It was an anxiety pen. An anxiety pen.

fully-grown adult with my own health insurance, rent and car payment to take care of and arguing with people on the kovaze dot com blogs page in anything resembling a serious fashion ....................... LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO like some of yall truly give me second hand embarrassment I have never quite observed... and I host a survivor ORG the bar is really on the floor for loser-like behavior LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

like im sorry i just don’t get it………………and the nearly universal love for him is so confusing to me !!!!!! Now they’re saying he’s gonna be on DWTS like plz no………… he just seems so… mean and is constantly whining and complaining idc roast me it had to be said he gives industry plant

Like he mogs me down obv. But I just don’t get the hype I see 20 guys that look exactly like him every time I step outside in central Florida LMAOOOO and he truly seems so incredibly boring

I just can’t sometimes

when my randomly assigned roommate and I were talking one of the first nights we were there and i was watching big brother on my laptop as it was august and still big brother season and he said "yo I fuck with that show heavy!" and then we got to talking more about it and he said he had an account on TENGAGED DOT COM to play "fast big brother games" and i was sitting in my dorm bed sweating praying to randomize that he hadnt seen my stars vlogs (winner of stars 342 btw) and looked up his account and luckily he was a lowly white level who had like 0.3 KPG and like 20 games. but phew! Close call!!!!!! and we're still bffs btw but the concept of encountering other tengaged dot com users in the flesh is so frightening.......its like how they say you walk past 10 active serial killers in your life LMAOOOOOOO sort of that same vibe .

meanwhile ethel got her nachos from the lana del rey store................................................................