water, shelter, and swoop.

I will know who you are. I might not know what you want. If you are looking for plusses I can tell you I don’t have one for you, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career on Kovaze. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you delete your blog that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will neg you.

with Mel. IYKYK.

needs another color but idk what I want :/

Goalie extraordinaire.

Since I missed Race, I feel compelled to blog. First, I really hope you’ve all been well. I’ve thought about lots of you from time to time. Without going into personal details (and my apologies for being cryptic) about two months ago our lives kinda completely turned upside down, in a not so great way. Our life looks pretty different right now and we’re still in the middle of parts of it. We are very lucky and I’m so grateful for those that have checked in (sorry I’ve been quiet on discord). What I can say is we are healthy and remaining happy and strong through it all - just dealing with the stress is really tough. If you could, send us some prayers or good energy, as in the coming months we may need it. 🩵 I’m hoping now that things have settled a bit I can be around more.

Logs in It filled Fml

I hope everyone has been doing well, I miss lots of you guys. I popped online to see how my BB draft was going and was mildly impressed lol. Also, Evan says hi. xo

Mildly based on what many of us all likely-somewhat all have in our closets: 1. Game Day Ready (Sports) 2. The Amazing Race 3. Character Obsessed (rep your fave character) 4. Coffee Shop Run 5. Good Night (getting ready for bed) 6. Prom Night 7. Movie Night 8. Sunday Afternoon (leisure clothing) 9. Gym Rat 10. Introvert vs Extrovert (dress representing what you are) I’m bored and drinking my coffee on my porch and the ideas just hit me. What would your ideas be?

If in my mind I’d won way more than 29 games on here? If you’d have asked me to guess I’d have said 50-60 at least. Does that mean I’m delusional or overly confident or both? 😂😬🤦🏻‍♀️

Okay, I’m a bit freaked out, Evan and I were up last night late playing Royale and I SWEAR I said before I went to bed to Evan that I wish there was an easy way to see how many total games a person has won. I come online and there is now an easy way to see it. 🏆 Sin are you a genie? 🧞

In trying something new to get better at guitar. Strategy: Spamming the 12345 keys on my computer to try and click them all. Results: A score of 1340 Rating 0/10

is an angel on earth. I'll start. Tez

For those that have trouble falling asleep, how do you describe it to someone? I try to explain it to Evan and he’s like “just turn your brain off” - I simply cannot do that. It’s like I have to occupy my brain with something like YouTube or music or noise to fall asleep.

are the two I REALLY REALLY wish I could play for fun whenever I want. I wish there was a little arcade space here we could go and play the best fun comps like chainpop and puzzler.

was the best thing I've done since joining this site. I had the absolute most fun, loved production, most of the cast, and just the overall vibe of it all. I haven't really spoke on it and I just wanted to say that tonight because it's been a minute since the finale where I came up just short of the win in a 4-3 vote against my icon bestie koolness234. I have to also give a shout out to @downeaster (my new bestie) and spartagow (my old bestie) for an iconic final 4 - and Greedy, Chris, KaliMinaj, and BigBryy99 for an intense and drama filled end game. Seriously thank you Amanda and Glaceon and all of the ASBB4 team (again) for a wonderful experience. Kovaze - if you get asked to play this DO IT - or apply you fools! It's fun, fr! Proof that I didn’t “flake” on Nexa for my gift giveaway.

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND HER. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. SHE'S GORGEOUS. SHE'S MINE.

we need a way to practice comps without having to join a game vvvv

Hi jury and Kovaze. 😊 THIS IS A LOT, I KNOW 😂, BUT BEFORE YOU NEG THIS... PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT. If you'd told me on Day 1 that I'd be sitting here at Final 3, I probably would've laughed... and then immediately started overthinking how you came to that conclusion. When I saw the cast at the beginning of the season, ngl, I was intimidated AF. I remember thinking, okay... my goal is just to make jury. I know my game wasn't quiet because, honestly, I didn't feel like I had the luxury of playing "under the radar" like some... cough cough Mr. Koolness234. 😂 I felt like I HAD to win competitions. I HAD to make big moves. I HAD to get a ton of blood on my hands. And somewhere along the way, I picked up a few titles too. I've been called a snake, a bitch, nasty, dumb, been told I was dead to some of you... I think I'm only missing "cunt" to complete the collection. 😂 Honestly, if we're handing out awards, I think I checked off most of the villain bingo card. The thing is... Big Brother isn't about playing a game that makes everyone happy. If it were, I would've packed my bags weeks ago. It's about making the decisions that give you the best chance to be sitting there on finale night, even when those decisions are unpopular. I never expected every move I made to be liked, but I did expect every move to have a purpose. And I do want to say one thing directly to all of you (jury). If you were on the receiving end of one of my decisions, I want you to know that I don't take that lightly. I understand those moves affected real people, and I never forgot that, even when I believed they were the right moves for my game. There were a lot of weeks where I felt like I was playing from the minority, and I knew I wasn't the first choice for many of the strongest players in this game... honestly, many of you sitting on this jury. This cast was absolutely stacked. We had competition beasts like Chris, @downeaster, Spartagow, and Shrimp. We had incredible strategic minds like Riddler, Koolness, Tea, and Justini. We had amazing social players like Greedy, Kali, Chris, Summer, Thumper, Charlitos, BigBryy99 and Metro. We had people with instincts, especially Aleksa, KaliMinaj, Tea, and Yawnha. We had resilient players who I knew would never stopped fighting like Nicky and Brxanne. Every single one of the cast members brought something different to this game, and I genuinely mean that. There were so many weeks where winning wasn't about padding my résumé, it was about surviving another week. If I didn't take my shot when I had it, I wasn't protecting my game... I was throwing it away. That's why, when I had power, I wasn't afraid to actually use it. I didn't hide behind it, and I didn't waste it. Every move I made was the one I believed gave me the best chance to still be sitting here tonight. And listen... I'm not going to stand here and tell you I played a perfect game, because I didn't. (This speech being this long is probably Exhibit A. 😂) I made mistakes. I misread people. I overthought things. I made decisions that hurt people. But every single time, I adjusted, I learned, and I kept fighting. I never stopped fighting for my position in this game. More than anything, I'm proud that I was brave enough to stay true to the game I believed I had to play. I didn't make moves just to make moves. I made the decisions I believed gave me the best chance to survive another week against what I truly believe was one of the strongest casts I've ever played with. Whether you agreed with those decisions or not, I hope you can see they always came from a place of trying to win this game, never from a place of trying to hurt any of you personally. I don't know if I'll make Final 2, but I can promise you this: if I do, I'll fight just as hard to earn your vote as I fought to earn my seat here in Final 3. My goal with this speech was simply to explain my side of the story and connect all of those pieces together. Thank you for hearing me out. And if you actually made it all the way down here... you're a real one. ❤️