this has probably been the worst year since 2021 that I have had in my entire 48 years. Long story short...this year started off with our Amelia, Cole & I's cat, passing away after getting a blood clot that traveled to her brain. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done...watching an animal go to sleep via euthanasia. I have had my fair of animals euthanized, but I could not bare to be in the same room as them when they were euthanized. I would leave in tears. This time I stayed. It was so hard...I still cry thinking about it. In between, I had some rough times. I was hospitalized in February for a bleeding ulcer that could have killed me. The culprit? Alcohol. Yep. My boyfriend Erik at the time was a heavy drinker...since last summer I had started dating A LOT and I ended up dating a guy named Chris who turned me on to drinking. I was drinking just about every day with him, pushing my new body to its limits. We broke up in late September, and I ended up dating Erik in December, who was wheelchair bound and not really looker. Not that I'm any better than him, but it was uncomfortable at times because he was a big dude. I have no qualms dating a bigger dude, but he kinda treated me more like a caregiver than a girlfriend. AND the kicker..he had bed bugs!! I almost died. I couldn't wait to get home. I had traveled 1.5 hours to Central Maine by bus to meet him and stay with him, and he was infested with bed bugs. He told me when I arrived that his place had just been sprayed a few days prior. Well....I found a couple while I was there and pointed them out to him...he told me to shut my mouth. Ohhhhk. When I got home, bites started appearing all over my entire body. I made the fuck sure that my suitcase stayed outside for a fucking month. I was trying to find a gentle way to break it off with him...he didn't take it so well but he could not accept me stopping dirinking. I was sober for 4 months. Then I re-connected with a dude I dated YEARS ago as Two Ton Tina Scott. (or wee Scott as @Malibu calls him)..he said he was single, so we started dating. Well, after giving him his birthday gift (matching underwear set) he decided to steal $355 cash, 60 of my oxycodone, and Cole''s Oculus VR headset. The kicker? After I called the cops (3 days later because he started ghosting me before I realized he stole from me) and they told me that he's MARRIED. I literally went into a psychoses and threw myself into traffic and almost got killed. I spent a week at the BHU (psych ward in Sanford) It was a horrible experience, zero stars out of five. The only thing good was that I got my meds adjusted. Because I had my weight loss surgery, my former antipsychotic wasn't going into my bloodstream, which is completely accurate, as I have been spiraling since losing all this weight. I've become a crazy, skinny bitch. Sorry for the long read. I had to vent. So I'm alive.

My wee Scott (I call him "wee" Scott because he's 5'3, 135ish...and here I am, a THICK girl, 5'8, 200...such a mismatch!) is coming over this morning to give me tattoo #4. My last tattoo was last month and I had Cole's name tattooed on my left inner forearm, it is "Cole" in Korean. https://ibb.co/hFGByJ5T Today I'm getting a butterfly with 3 hearts...the butterfly representing my sister Sherry, the 3 hearts represents my Dad who died in 2012, my nephew who died in 2022, and my uncle Paul who passed at the end of April. Its gonna go on my right inner forearm, same place as my Cole tattoo, just on the opposite arm. The tattoo: https://ibb.co/gMb041qD hehehe I'm excited Will post the final product when it's finished!

My father passed in 2012. My sister Sherry passed in 2021. I'm pretty sure that 97% of Kovaze will look at me crazy, but we had a fad diet in the 1980s called "Slim Fast" Slim Fast was a nutritional shake and it would always have this jingle in commercials: "Give us a week, and we'll take off the weight!" So one morning in 1988, I was in sixth grade and 12 years old. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my sister Sherry, and Sherry was tending to my niece Jess. Dad was at the blender and Sherry and I were just chatting away when we noticed Dad had a can of Slim Fast and was whipping something up. He made a TALL glass of the Slim Fast, sat down at the table, and my sister said to Dad,"That's Slim Fast? That stuff gives me GAS! And it tastes NASTY!" My Dad, the ever so proud chef, boasted, "Not mine, Sherry! I made this shake taste amazing!" So Sherry and I both asked for a sip. We both took a sip, and indeed, it tasted amazing! "WOW!" Sherry said to him. "That tastes amazing and does not taste like Slim Fast at all?! How did you do it and lose weight making it taste great?" Dad said "Well I haven't lost weight yet but I need to make it edible, so I put two scoops of French Vanilla ice cream in the blender with the Slim Fast." And people wonder why we are a fat family.... 🤣🤣 ✌🏻

Because my boo is coming over tonight. Getting the White Trash Millionaire house ready for some companionship....

and is functioning for me!