I'm NOT trying to "hide" my identity, because I didn't play TG, I come from club penguin rewritten

somewhere live from Muskoka, Ontario! I'm your host Grinch McLean dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television RIGHT NOW! Here's the deal. 22 campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Loser Boat and leave Total Drama Island for good. Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies, where each week all but one camper will not receive a marshmallow. In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune which lets face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food and each other. Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here RIGHT NOW ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!

Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9:00, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?