comments on my top blog made me happy

i really just wrote that bc i was having a lot of emotions this morning and writing my feelings out makes me feel better, especially when i do it in a way i can share with others. i appreciate all the love and kind words. i really just wanted to remind everyone to love on their mom if they have the opportunity. losing a parent is something you can’t understand without experiencing. when my mom died, i spun out like crazy. hard drugs, risky sex work, the whole nine yards. when i would have suicidal thoughts as a middle/high schooler, i always said i would have to wait until my mom died to follow through. when that actually happened, it was so surreal. the fact i'm still here is something i genuinely will always be proud of. life has been really shitty to me at times and my brain is an asshole, but i keep moving. this is kinda unrelated but it felt relevant. people can talk shit about these communities and how weird all of this really is when you think about it, but if it wasn’t for Amandasings04, i probably wouldn’t be here. even if i was still here, without her, i doubt i would be in a loving marriage, mostly sober (weed doesn’t count and i like to drink a little on special occasions), and relatively sane. the gay people on your phone really can be your lifeline when you need it. thank you amanda for being my other half and best friend, even when we wanna tear each other limb from limb