dead parent club
some days it just really hits different. it’s been 9 years since my mom died. that really is what divided my life into “before” & “after”. i’m still wishing for the light, drive, and energy the “before” me had. sometimes i’ll see a thing, this time a video of someone talking to their mom on the phone, and it’ll just take me back to when it was fresh. i would move mountains for one more conversation.
i’m always wishing she could meet my wife. the day she told me she had cancer, she gave this spiel about all the milestones she’ll miss and that’s the first thing that really broke me. my wife is the most kind, generous, patient, tenacious person i’ve ever known. she reminds me so much of my mom sometimes. i know they would love each other so much and i do feel robbed of their relationship. i grieve that stuff all the time. i wish she would’ve gotten to meet my best friend’s kids.
honestly, i just wanna hear her take on so many things that have happened since she left, the serious and the stupid. the insurrection, kamala harris (she would’ve loved her), the 2020 primary (she would’ve probably voted joe biden but would have loved pete and elizabeth warren), felicia and angela on big brother (she would fucking hate angela), survivor 40 and 50, the covid lockdowns. just all of it. when i was in high school, my sister and i would bitch about how she always took 10 minutes to tell a 1 minute story. if given the chance today, i’d listen to her talk for an hour about a 30 second interaction.
i know not everyone has the same warm and fuzzy feelings i get when i think about my mom. for those of you with moms who were abusive or neglectful, i love you. for those of you with living moms who deserve to be in your life, please remind her how much you love her. that’s really all i ask. to those of you who are mothers, thank you. moms are the most badass people out there and i’m so proud of you.
53 votes, 657 points
Comments
As someone who takes theirs for granted, this was a beautiful reminder. My mom also tells a 1 minute story in 10 minutes and I’ll snap at her like GET TO THE POINT. Lol. I’m just glad you have a great support system and loved ones who knew her like you did. She’s always with you, in your heart and soul ❤️
As long as you keep talking about her, she will be present. Our parents incorporated parts of their souls into our beings and we will never lose that, it radiates so beautifully that it touches people, just like this blog will touch hearts of many. Hugs 🫂
lolicapolica This is so beautifully said
<3 thinking of you and sending you lots of love. can't imagine how painful that was and still is all the time. i'm sure your mom would be super proud of you
Sending you al ot of virtual hugs gay . I lost my mom during my first semester of college in 2018. She was a recovering drug addict, so it was a real strain in the last 10 years of her life. I wish I had more time with her, however I was just a developing child who lost his childhood watching his mom OD, be in and out of the house, jail, rehab, etc. I was a mamas boy, so I didn't care about what was going on I just wanted her to be around. Her last promise to me was to help get me through college to help rekindle the last 10 broken years.. in which she passed months after. I wish I was more mature and able to help, but unfortunately I couldn't. The best I can do is have her live vicariously through me and my eyes. I was given a few gifts that have her ashes in them, and I make sure to take them around with me wherever I go so it feels like she is always with me and experiencing things with me. Half of the things I am doing nowadays I don't think she has ever done, so I try to think of it as she tried her absolute best to raise me to do things she couldn't do at the end of her life. I treasure that immensely and I hope you do the same. <3 <3
SurferSorbet love you ❤️you are so strong and still have such a spark. She would be proud af
Mochalatte Thank you my amazing friend <3 I appreciate it immensely. Ditto back to you. Love you !!
<3
this was so moving to read. im so sorry this happened :( hugs
Awwww :( I can’t even imagine I dread this day very much but just know she’s always looking over you 💕
wow, this made me so emotional!! she sounded like such an amazing woman, she is so proud of you! <3
holds you so so so tight. it's clear how much of her still lives through you, sending you so much love❤️
I'm so sorry I can't imagine this loss yet at all and am very greatful you're a good guy dude and I wish the best for you always
hugs
such a beautiful person & blog. thinking of you extra today, love you always❤️
❤️
Love u 💕
hugs you so tight
my mom was really sweet. but i was a daddy's girl hehe. im sure i was favorite of both of them tho. cause my sisters are just nice and quiet.
V i was also the favorite of both parents lol. youngest of 6
gay <3 i am a 2nd ant the middle child of 3 girls hehe
Sending love <3 you made her sound like a wonderful woman and it touched my heart. Know you’re keeping her proud!
gay I second this so hard. <3
this is so heartbreaking. <3333 i need to hug my mom more often
RandyBandy that’s all i ask
I’m sorry wife !?!
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Venom i’m gay and i have a wife. we exist.
but for those who are genuinely curious, i am married to a trans woman. she started transitioning like 2 years into our relationship once she met all my trans and gender nonconforming friends and realized that’s what she needed. i don’t really care because i love her for her and not how she identifies or presents
I cried reading this, my heart is huggings yours right now, I am so sad you couldn't share all of those things with your mom. Sounds like she was a wonderful person and you had a great relationship, I am happy you have good memories with her at least. The part you said about before and after really resonated with me, because I think of my own life that way as well. I don't talk about it much on here, but my biological mom died when I was 7. Her sister adopted me, and I am extremely grateful for her being a mother to me, but I still have a lot of complex grief pertaining to my biological mother, even 30 years later. The loss of a parent is so hard. I love you.
Hugs Cherry too!
Love you so much Austin. She’d be proud of the person you’ve become.
Sending youso much love, Austin! 💙 You motivated me to send my mom the first message I have sent to her in months.
<3
You and your mom were so lucky to have one another. Sending you so much love.❤️
bawling my eyes out rn
i get it <3 mine will be 8 years soon <3
❤️❤️
oh wow
brookie deepbriquet
sending you love