then what are we calling this nonsense?
"Holly throwing a fucking nuclear tantrum because I tied her in bingo is genuinely one of the most pathetic spectacles I've ever had the privilege of witnessing. We both got bingo. Not “I stole her win.” Not “I cheated.” Not “I somehow hacked the fucking bingo machine.” We. Both. Got. Bingo. And because the prize gets split when two people win, Holly apparently decided I had personally declared war on her entire fucking family. She went online raging like I'd marched into her house, stolen her savings, and pissed on her birth certificate, when all I did was put a fucking marker on five numbers. The sheer stupidity of being this furious over a tie is almost impressive. She wasn't even mad about losing—because she didn't fucking lose. She was mad that reality had the audacity to continue existing after she got bingo. And the entitlement? Absolutely fucking breathtaking. Apparently Holly's grand plan was to win bingo, collect the entire prize, and have everyone else politely disappear so she could bask in her monumental achievement. Sorry, sweetheart, but getting five fucking numbers in a row doesn't make you the Queen of England. You don't get exclusive ownership of the word “bingo” just because you happened to yell it first. What exactly was I supposed to do? See my winning card and throw it in the trash? Apologize for participating? Call the fucking United Nations and ask them to intervene in this devastating international crisis? I tied you, Holly. I didn't assassinate your fucking bloodline. The fact that a split bingo prize was enough to turn you into an online rage machine is absolutely hysterical. You took a harmless game, found the tiniest possible inconvenience, and squeezed every last drop of fucking drama out of it. Congratulations: you didn't win the full prize, but you did win the gold medal for most spectacularly unhinged reaction to getting exactly the same result as somebody else."
Holly